My father taught us kids a lot of things but the two biggest lessons are:
There Is No Free Lunch and Work Like Balance
To set the scene, my dad had just graduated from college (possibly Masters, possibly Ph.D, he got both, not sure which one, but anyways) and this was a huge milestone. My dad has told me school was not his strong point but that he knew it was important.
His carpenter friend told my dad he would build a custom plaque and asked him what he wanted. My dad requested at the top it said “There Is No Free Lunch” and on the bottom he wanted himself, my mom, and my two oldest sisters walking with the Oregon Mountains (NM mtns) in the background.
For 35+ years this plaque has taken center stage in his office. It is one of our family icons. The quality and subtle nature of this carving is as impressive as how it’s weathered over the years. It hasn’t weathered much and has sustained it’s message.
Let’s step back.
Here is my dad, probably 30+ years old, he has a wife and two daughters and has completed one of the biggest milestones in his life. And to note it wasn’t easy. Lot’s of cheap entertainment, tight budgets, no frills, and lot’s of hard work. At the end of that this carpenter asks what he wants carved into a piece of wood that would be viewed by many for years to come and this is what my dad requests?
What, no fancy graduation gift? No new 32 inch color TV? No brand new cassette player for the family car? Furniture? No request for an Apple IIe to act as the official family computer to play games on?
Sure, maybe those things came. But those things are now gone. And this wooden plaque remains.
The Lesson
My dad was meticulous when it came to mowing the lawn. He didn’t less us kids take shortcuts. Some Saturday mornings weren’t very fun actually. But I think for the 90′s and for my situation, maybe it wasn’t meant to be fun. Maybe I was suppose to learn a couple lessons of hard work and seeing projects through. Maybe I lean on these lessons daily. Yes, actually I do.
There is no free lunch. To think there is free lunch is dangerous. Like Ed Versturs says on the title of his book “No Shortcuts To The Top”. Ed climbed Mt. Everest like a bagillion times with no oxygen and stuff. Sharp guy.
Work Life Balance
Let me set the scene. We had just moved to northern New Mexico. My dad had started a successful consulting firm which was doing quite well. He took a big leap and left a steady paycheck from a university to go out on his own. He says was the best decision ever.
So we move to Northern New Mexico and find ourselves in a used ski swap sale spending close to $1,000 to outfit 4 eager boys for the ski hill. And close to another $1,000 in season ski passes. Oh and times that by 7-8 years, oh and actually add a couple brand new North Face jackets and brand new ski’s in there.
Ok – so looking back my parents probably spent $X amount on us kids to have endless chairlift conversations and produce a handful of ski films (on VHS) that never made it to Warren Miller Entertainment.
My parents are now retired and my dad commented a couple weeks ago, “Ya know, we spent a lot on skiing back in those days. I’d probably have more money in the bank for retirement if we didn’t go skiing , but I’d have less memories with you kids.”
Lesson
Yes. That equation is correct. More money in the bank may equal less memories. At the time I’m sure my mom was nervous of how much my dad spent on us boys to go skiing. She’ll probably never understand the lasting effect that this has had on us sons who are now fathers to 13 kids. She sees us interact with our kids but after my parents die and after my wife and I die; our kids will carry a ‘ski with your kids’ mentality for generations to come. At least I hope so.
I love my kids. I’d rather hang out with them all day. When I get asked to go on a hike or bike ride with my friends I usually hesitate. When are we getting back? How long am I leaving my wife alone? I’m happy to travel for work but honestly it kills me to be away from my family.
My wife and I have our own awesome adventures. The people I follow on Instagram and facebook do such cool stuff. I literally will never have to buy a National Geographic or Outside magazine again. The people I follow post the most rad pictures and stories. I’ll probably never climb Mt. Everest (sounds pretty silly actually) or go skydiving. Or post a crazy video of me skiing fresh powder in Canada. I kinda don’t care though, because I have my family and my virtual weekend junkie social media friends who I can vicariously live through. 
My daughter and son waving by to me on my bike ride to work the other day. This may not be skydiving with a GoPro but to me this is more exciting. This photo also go like 20 likes on Instagram – I’m so popular it freaks me out sometimes.
Can’t wait to spoil the hell out of my kids at a ski swap this fall followed by hitting the bunny hill this winter. Even if it means a couple less dollar signs in my retirement account.
Happy Father’s Day.
